A Self Portrait


My name is Stanley William Rogouski III. I am 50 years. I am 6 feet and 1/8 of an inch tall in my bedroom slippers. I am 182 pounds naked. The thick eyebrows give away my unmistakable Polish ethnicity (just in case you couldn’t figure it out by the last name).  I am a 5th generation American. The scar on my forehead indicates my lack of native intelligence. I keep banging my head on the door frame in the basement.

For a long time, I told people on the Internet I was 5’11.” Why? I guess it’s because I’ve always been reluctant to threaten my late father’s spiritual dominance. He was 6’3″, well above the size any man would or should be worried about a lack of physical authority. Yet his height always seemed to be the only thing he had. He had a short-man’s personality in the body of an NBA shooting guard, a Napoleon complex in the frame of a Charles de Gaulle or an Abraham Lincoln. He died a few months short of his 80th birthday. All through his 70s he had a 32-inch waist, his perpetually slim frame the result of smoking 3 packages of cigarettes a day from the age of 12 to the age of 40. Had it not been for the tobacco industry he would still be alive.

I spend a lot of time writing. This blog contains over a million words, most by me. I have a BA in English from Rutgers University. I should have majored in history. I love reading history but I hate reading fiction, yet I aspire to write fiction, not history. I run 7 miles a day in the Winter and Summer. I ride my bike 30 miles a day in the Spring and Fall. If Donald Trump becomes President, I will trade in my bike for martial arts lessons, a heavy leather jack, and Doc Martens. If I can’t be a successful novelist or historian, I can always die fighting fascism in the streets, and, just perhaps, have someone write about me. I used to be patriotic. Now I’m a communist. My favorite film is The Grapes of Wrath by John Ford. My favorite piece of music is the Second Piano Concerto by Brahms. I am currently reading The Leopard by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa. I don’t have a favorite book.

I generally feel as if I have wasted my life.



  1. You are charming. I love your blog’s honesty, and that you give well thought out responses to my comments. Even though we disagree on details sometimes, you are open-minded enough to consider my point of view. This is extremely rare, as are inquiring minds with the courage of curiosity. Your mind will never grow old, even if your body does.

    I consider myself a “communal capitalist,” who believes in self-governance, as I don’t respect outside authority, especially as it has manifested lately. I also don’t believe it matters much who wins the presidential election. They all believe in more government, in one form or another, but expect future taxpayers to pay for it.

    At 50, consider that you have been building a foundation for the rest of your life. Your life experience gives depth to anything you might choose to write, whether fiction, non-fiction, or anything in between.

    1. Do you follow these people?


      1. Just checked out your link. I’m familiar with Sheldon Richman, whose articles make a lot of sense. Thought provoking. However, I don’t trust non-profits, because they have to kiss up to government to get their non-profit status. The National Taxpayers Union, for pete’s sake. The Institute of Justice, which threw the Kelo (eminent domain) case to the asset plunderers. How can an organization that claims non-profit status challenge GoverCorp in any effective way? The “hire the opposition” strategy is a great way to squelch dissent.

        The tribal culture model is a better example of “stateless society,” with flexible boundaries and generally respectful give-and-take of natural resources, such as in the animal kingdom.

        The Constitution ignored women completely, so I can comfortably claim it does not represent me. I can also claim that it proves how dangerous male dominance is.

        The fittest for survival are those who stay home with the women and children. You don’t see roosters running off to fight other roosters’ battles.

  2. mystic gitana · · Reply

    Nice intro!Hey I still advise you to sign up for martial art! I myself do KravMaga on top of running and cycling and it is a complete blast!;-)

  3. nice to meet you.
    and you write very well.

  4. Someday, I hope to read your book, I guess you can write a non-fiction, a compilation of unrelated articles, your reactions to people and events. I am sure it would make an interesting read, coming as your point of view. Do write.

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