Dear President Von Clownstick:
First things first. I didn’t vote for you. I’ve loathed you ever since my twenties, when you took out a full page ad in the New York Times calling for the execution of five innocent black teenagers for the rape and attempted murder of the Central Park jogger, a crime that they didn’t commit. You’re a racist and a bully. Your presidency is almost certainly going as bad for the United States as your supporter Chris Christie’s governorship has been for the great state of New Jersey, which wisely rejected you.
Nevertheless, my mood tonight isn’t one of fear and horror or even disgust, but one of schadenfreude. If nothing else, you accomplished what neither Barack Obama nor Bernie Sanders was able to do. You’ve flushed the Clinton crime family out of politics for good. My schadenfreude is not against Clinton’s rank and file Democratic supporters, mostly good people who were stampeded into backing probably the worst nominee the Democrats have put up since Michael Dukakis. It’s certainly not against Muslims, LGBT people, black people, immigrants, or women, people who are genuinely frightened at the prospect of your moving into the White House. My schadenfreude is against the neoliberal, Wall Street elites who thought they could ram another Clinton down our throats.
Unlike Barack Obama, neither your opponent Hillary Clinton, nor her closer advisors were even remotely competent. Obama was a good enough salesman to hawk an unpopular Wall Street bailout and a health care plan that benefited the insurance companies more than the American people. Hillary Clinton was not. Even worse, when Bernie Sanders ran as the progressive Barack Obama promised to be in 2008 , the Clinton crime family, the Washington establishment, and their enablers in the corrupt corporate media sabotaged his campaign. Where Hillary Clinton ran a racist campaign against Barack Obama in 2008, digging up an old tape of his pastor Jeremiah Wright, arguing that he didn’t appeal to “hard working white people,” and helping to promote the “birther” smear, she ran a race-baiting campaign against Bernie Sanders. First the Clinton people invented the “Bernie Bro” smear, implying that Sanders’s supporters were exclusively young, white, sexist men. They weren’t. Then they treated his female supporters, his black supporters, and his Latino supporters as if they didn’t exist. It was clear what the Clinton crime family was trying to do, to divide the working-class against itself, Generation X against Millennials, black against white, straight against gay, men against women. And it was rotten.
After Sanders conceded the race and endorsed Hillary Clinton for President, the Clinton people continued to punch to their left, ignoring the black and Latino working class and outright demonizing the white working class in order to cultivate “moderate,” country club Republicans in a few swing states, and members of the military industrial complex. Sadly but not surprisingly that including Bush-era war criminals like John Negroponte and Colin Powell. It was a strategy that failed almost as completely as their attempt to reach the White house by front-loading the primary process with victories in mostly southern states with tiny Democratic Parties, none of which she had had the slightest chance of wining in the general election. Bernie Sanders probably would have lost Alabama and Mississippi. He probably would have won New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Wisconsin, none of which Clinton could carry on election day.
When her attempt to “pivot” from campaigning for the black vote in the south in the primaries to the “moderate” Republican vote in the Northeast and the Midwest in the general election failed, Hillary Clinton started to play the victim card. A vote against Clinton was a vote for sexism and racism, not a vote against a corrupt oligarch from a right-wing neoliberal family that the Democrats should have flushed out of the party in 2008. At the end of their campaign in late October, Clinton and her advisors just seemed to lose their minds, becoming almost as detached from reality as Richard Nixon was during Watergate, running on a bizarre Russophobic conspiracy theory that might have seemed extreme during the Cold War instead of against you, Mr. Clownstick, and your obvious racism, corruption, and unfitness to be President. Instead of pointing out that the Clownstick campaign had antagonized Mexico, a country of 125 million people, with accusations that Mexican immigrants were rapists, they decided to antagonize Russia, a country of 150 million people, with their own xenophobic nonsense, charging that the entire Von Clownstick organization itself was controlled from Moscow by none other than Vladimir Putin. What were they thinking?
I don’t know exactly what Obama was thinking when he appointed Hillary Clinton Secretary of State. Perhaps he had just read Dorris Kearns Godwin’s book A Team of Rivals one too many times. In any event, John Kerry, for all his faults, should have had the job from the very beginning. All of Obama’s real foreign policy accomplishments, like the treaty with Iran, were Kerry’s doing. All of his failures, like the disastrous invention in Libya, were Clinton’s. President Fuckface, if your presidency turns out to be a complete disaster — and it will — you’ve at least accomplished one thing. You’ve made it highly unlikely that a Clinton will get anywhere near the White House, at least in my lifetime. I also think that President Obama’s nomination of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State was more a symptom of his aggregated shortcomings as a leader than a lone, isolated failure. Barack Obama, for all his skill as a speaker and above all as a salesman, was not the man we needed in 2008. At any other time he might have gone down in history as a great President, but in 2008 we needed a genuine progressive, a left-wing populist like Franklin Roosevelt who would have nationalized the banks, jailed the criminals on Wall Street, and restored Glass-Steagall. Instead we got a smooth-talking lawyer who never took a decisive position on anything, who let his rich friends dominate his administration, who let Goldman Sachs pick his cabinet. A President Trump, a President Fuckface Von Clownstick, was probably inevitable from the moment President Obama decided to bail out Wall Street and not Main Street.
So where, Señor Clownstick, do we go from here? Well let me just tell you I think you’re an ugly old racist with small hands and probably a smaller dick, a sleazy old billionaire who’s been to the tanning salon so many times you’ve turned orange, and that you’re likely to become the worst President in American history. I’m sure you don’t care what I think. You’ve just pulled off one of the greatest political upsets in American history. I’m an unemployed loser sitting in my mother’s basement. Maybe you do care. I don’t know. Maybe some of your right-wing extremist followers, the racist, antisemitic, homophobic “alt-right” you’ve been cultivating since you declared Mexican immigrants “rapists” at the beginning of your campaign, care.
Personally, I don’t feel particularly threatened by any of these people, but just keep in mind, if you have any decency at all, that there are people who do. Indeed, for many black people, LGBT people, Muslims, women and immigrants, my schadenfreude against the Clinton crime family is a good example of “white privilege.” I’m unlikely to get deported, gay bashed, or harassed online. I’m unlikely to be put in an immigrant detention camp, stopped and frisked, or shot by a police officer just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. What’s more, even if you don’t follow through on your promises to build a wall along the border with Mexico or ban Muslims from entering the United States, just the fact that you’ve been elected at all has made them feel unwelcome. Perhaps you can reach out to the people who feel threatened and hurt by your victory and reassure them that you consider them every bit the “real Americans” that you consider people who look like me.
Oh who am I kidding? Of course you won’t.
It’s time for everybody on the left, your enemies, to heal the animosities caused not only by your openly racist pandering to the dark side of white America, but also by the more passive aggressive attempts of the Clinton crime family to “divide and rule” the working class in order to steal the nomination from Bernie Sanders. We need to build a broad-based, socialist, anti-fascist movement on the left, and we need to do it fast. We need to hit you, even before you take office. We need to protest your every move, destabilize and delegitimize your administration. We need to make sure you are thrown out of office in 2020. We need to make sure that the F.F. Von Clownstick Era goes down in American history as a freak accident, a stroke of bad luck, punishment from the political gods for not having learned the lessons of our own, dark, genocidal racist history. We need to build a movement that will in effect be an apology to the rest of the world for having elected you to the highest office in the land.
Just like George W. Bush, you are not not now, and you will never be my President.
Stanley W. Rogouski