Donald Trump just gave me 1200 bucks. USA! USA! USA! Where’s the birth certificate! Woo! Hoo! America for Americans!!!
Does anybody want to take a crack at analyzing the Orange Cheetos’s handwriting? That signature looks crushingly dominant to me, like the Alpha Plus of Alpha Males. Or is he trying to compensate for something? In any event, it lacks the nuance and subtlety of John Hancock’s John Hancock, that’s for sure. Hancock’s signature has some artistry. Trump almost looks like he signed the letter in crayon.
As much as I appreciate the 1200 bucks (that’s a lot of Diet Coke) I’m skeptical that I’ll ever see a dime of that second round of payments in the new House bill, the “HEROES ACT.”
Here’s why. In order to drive Bernie and his followers out of the race, the DNC had to mobilize strong reactionary energies from the kind of wealthy suburb that I live in. The Biden campaign is heavily dependent on socially liberal, economically conservative professionals in the Northeast, Mid Atlantic, and on the West Coast. Right now, upper-middle-class white women want to avenge Hillary’s loss. They’ve already got Bernie’s scalp. Now they want Trump’s. Biden is counting on their vote.
But things could change. We are headed into a deep recession. The unemployment bureaus, even in “blue” states like mine, are a disaster, purposefully designed to prevent people from claiming benefits. The inner cities are locked down much harder than the suburbs are. For awhile, although I’m not sure if it’s still in effect, you actually had to have a pass to travel over the border of Newark into the surrounding towns of Irvington and Orange. Forget about the circus currently going on at the Michigan Capital. That’s all theater. The Republicans know that Gretchen Whitmer is the current front-runner for Biden’s running mate. That means if they show up with their AR-15s vowing to stay there until they the state government lets them go back to Arby’s, the media will show up. So do their sponsors the Koch Brothers. But this Summer, when the food and money start running out, and there aren’t enough Amazon warehouse and gig economy jobs to go around, there could be real social unrest.
I guarantee you that if those “Karens” in Greenwich, Westchester and Brookline see riots in Newark, Detroit and Chicago, they’re going to be calling for the cops to bust heads. The pink pussy hats will go in the closet. The American flags will come out. They’re going to make those hillbillies in East Lansing look like pacifists. Donald Trump may be a cartoon character who tweets too much but Mitch McConnell and the Republican establishment are smart enough to block that second round of 1200 dollar checks. It’s in their political interests to see people desperate and hungry. And even if there aren’t serious riots in the inner cities, the Republican media will cover any little sign of social unrest 24/7 on cable news. The Democrats shouldn’t count their chickens just yet.