Tag Archives: Flash Fiction

The Long Black Clown Car

Though the major events of his life had occurred in Los Angeles and Manhattan the funeral was held in the small backwater where he’d spent the final years of his life painting and repainting the walls of his wife’s house different shades of green. No indications were left whether he’d found the desired shade. The […]

The Calling Card of Posterity, or: We’ve Tried Nothing (And We’re All Out of Ideas)

Night after night they sat in restless repose, watching beer commercial after beer commercial and car commercial after car commercial, not necessarily in that order, ten and thirty feet respectively from where a 24-pack of clearance-sale Budweiser resided in an ice box and from where a Cavalier resided in a carport, doors and skirts rusted […]

The Meat Peddlers

We hadn’t slept. Something unspoken sat at a third place setting, chewing loudly. I walked back to the table. Kat grabbed the coffee from my hand. “I’m a writer…and you…you might be a hipster. We’ll never make it in this place. We must elope-perhaps some Eastern Bloc country. We must resign ourselves to humble lives […]

Don’t Molest Jake

We all decided, before there was any clear threat as such, that we’d rather Jake didn’t get molested. A petition was circulated under the title “We’d Rather Jake Wasn’t Molested” and it garnered several dozen signatures before it was taken to City Hall. The City Council included a statement regarding it attached to a bond […]

The Library Books

I saw it again. There it was. I went to the margins with my mechanical pencil, set to scribble as was my wont. And in the margins already scrawled-the note I was going to leave. I would’ve taken it as a happy coincidence, a signpost from a fellow traveler, and the first 16 times it […]

Captured By Clowns

I was surrounded by clowns. They were sick of being second class citizens and entertaining your children. I’d been following them as a journalist. But now I was under suspicion. They kept me captive in a supply closet. I was surrounded by face paints. I realized what they were trying to do-a psychological operation. They […]

On the NSA

(This is a short story from my recently released spoken word album More Apocalypses That Probably Won’t Happen.) They had found a way to democratize God. Video and audio and 3D drone scanners recorded everything and stored it in giant digital monoliths. You could have your life flash before your eyes without having to die. […]